Straight from the heart - 02

This letter is a repost of a strawberry letter from the steve harvey morning show.

Date: 01/03/2008
Subject: Everything isn't always black and white

Hi Steve and Shirley. I listen to your show as often as I can in the mornings on my way to take my children to school. First let me start of by saying that my fiancé if very good to me and my 3 children. He is a very positive role model for them and encourages them to do their very best. He takes time to be active in their lives but still helps support our family by driving a truck on the road. We have been through so many trials and tribulations together and, with God's help, always came out stronger and wiser than before. He, alone, has helped get us out of a very big financial bind where we almost lost our home. There's never been a time that I have asked him to do something that he didn't do it. He has never raised his hand to me in anger or disrespected me in any way and he makes sure the kids respect me as well. My problem, however, is that we are in an interracial relationship. My oldest daughter (15) is white, and my two other daughters (9 and 11) are mixed (black and white). My children are also overweight. I think it is very important for my kids to know the truth about the history of whites and blacks and that there have been a lot of accomplishments made. But he tends to criticize white people and put them down for the way his race was mistreated. I understand that it was wrong and, again, I want my children to know the truth, but they are half white and I am 100%. He also makes comments, mostly in a joking way, about their size. They all laugh, but my children often come to me later and say that he always says stuff about how fat they are (their words not mine). While he is truly a great man, I worry that the words he uses will stay with them forever. My father used to make comments about my weight and still, to this day, I am very self-conscious about my weight. Please help. He says he's just kidding, but it's no secret that the kids are a "handful". I don't know what to do or how to talk to him about these situations. Please give me some pointers on how to approach this issue. Much Thanks---at my wits end in NC